Todays Note

Depression is a very common problem with someone being abused. This is a personal inventory - which shows how wide-spread depression can be. It's called the "Beck Depression Inventory".

Page 2 of 3

It was at this site.

http://www.orlandocvi.com/documents/BeckDepressionInventory1.pdf

11 

   0  __  I am no more irritated by things than I ever was.

    1 __ I am slightly more irritated now than usual

    2 __ I am quite annoyed or irritated a good deal of the time.

    3 __ I feel irritated all the time.

12 

    0 __ I have not lost interest in other people

    1 __ I am less interested in other people than I used to be

    2 __ I have lost most of my interest in other people.

    3 __ I have lost all my interest in other people.

13

    0 __ I make decisions about as well as I ever could

    1 __ I put off making decisions more than I used to

     2 __ I have greater difficulty in making decisions more than I used to

     3 __ I can’t make decisions at all anymore.

14 

     0 __ I don’t feel that I look any worse than I used to.

     1 __ I am worried that I am looking old or unattractive

      2 __ I feel there are permanent changes in my appearance that make me look unattractive

      3 __ I believe I look ugly

15 

    0 __ I can work about as well as before

    1 __ It takes an extra effort to get started at doing something

    2 __ I have to push myself very hard to do anything

    3 __ I can’t do any work at all

16 

    0 __ I can sleep as well as usual

   1 __ I don’t sleep as well as I used to

    2 __ I wake up 1 – 2 hours earlier than usual and find it hard to get back to sleep

    3 __ I wake up several hours earlier than I used to and cannot get back to sleep

17

   0 __  I don’t get more tired than usual

   1 __ I get tired more easily than I used to

   2  __ I get tired from doing almost anything

   3  __ I am too tired to do anything

18 

     0 __ My appetite is no worse than usual

     1 __ My appetite is not as good as it used to be

     2 __ My appetite is much worse now

     3 __ I have no appetite at all anymore

19 

     0 __ I haven’t lost much weight , if any, lately

     1  __ I have lost more than five pounds

      2 __ I have lost more than ten pounds

      3 __ I have lost more than fifteen pounds.

Todays Note

I have spent a couple of days looking for information on depression, I finally found it - worded exactly as I wanted - to share it with you. It was at this site.

http://www.orlandocvi.com/documents/BeckDepressionInventory1.pdf

Depression is a very common problem with someone being abused. This is a personal inventory which shows you how wide-spread depression can be. It's called the "Beck Depression Inventory".

Page 1 of 3

This inventory is self-scored. The scale is at the end of the list.

1 
    0 __ I do not feel sad.

    1 __ I feel sad

    2 __ I am sad all the time and I can't snap out of it.

    3 __ I am so sad and unhappy that I can't stand it.

2 
   0 __ I am not particularly discouraged about the future.

   1 __ I feel discouraged about the future.

   2 __ I feel I have nothing to look forward to.

   3 __ I feel the future is hopeless and that things cannot improve.

3 
   0 __ I do not feel like a failure

   1 __ I feel I have failed more than the average person.

   2 __ As I look back on my life, all I can see is a lot of failure.

   3 __ I feel I am a complete failure as a person.

4 
   0 __ I get as much satisfaction out of things as I used to

   1 __ I don't enjoy things the way I used to.

   2 __ I don't get real satisfaction out of anything anymore.

   3 __ I am dissatisfied or bored with everything.

5  
   0 __ I don't feel particularly guilty

   1 __ I feel guilty a good part of the time

   2 __ I feel quite guilty most of the time.

   3 __ I feel guilty all of the time

6 
    0 __ I don't feel I am being punished.

    1 __ I feel I may be punished.

    2 __ I expect to be punished

    3 __ I feel I am being punished.

7  
    0 __ I don't feel disappointed in myself.

    1 __ I am disappointed in myself.

    2 __ I am disgusted with myself.

    3 __ I hate myself.

8
    0 __ I don't feel I am any worse than anybody else.

    1 __ I am critical of myself for my weaknesses or mistakes.

    2 __ I blame myself all the time for my faults.

    3 __ I blame myself for everything bad that happens.

9  
   0 __  I don't have any thoughts of killing myself.

   1 __ I have thoughts of killing myself but I would not carry them out.

    2 __ I would like to kill myself.

    3 __ I would kill myself if I had the chance.

10  
      0 __  I don't cry any more than usual.

      1 __ I cry more than I used to

      2 __ I cry all the time now

      3 __ I used to be able to cry, but now I can't cry, even though I want to.

Todays Note

Dilemmas In Leaving An Abusive Relationship AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Leaving a violent relationship is not a simple matter. There are many factors that must be weighed carefully, because only the abuser truly can stop the violence,

PHYSICAL

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S

◗ Physical injury. He can continue to hit and injure her.

◗ Death. He might kill her or the children.

◗ STDs/HIV. She might have no choice regarding safe-sex

practices. He might sexually assault her.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S

◗ Physical injury. He might continue to injure her. He also

might be inclined to escalate the violence after she leaves.

◗ Death. Leaving doesn’t ensure that he won’t find her, and it

might increase the chance she or the children will be killed.

◗ STDs/HIV. Unsafe behavior might continue. He might

sexually assault her.

CHILDREN

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S

◗ Physical injury or psychological harm. Children can

witness violence, be targets themselves or be hurt trying

to protect others.

◗ Loss of children. He could make false allegations of

child neglect or abuse about her. Failure-to-protect

arguments could be used to remove children or terminate

parental rights.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S

◗ Physical injury or psychological harm. Children can

witness violence, be targets themselves or be hurt trying

to protect others. They might be at greater risk during

visitation.

◗ Loss of children. He could legally gain custody or just

take the children. He could make false allegations of child

neglect or abuse.

FINANCIAL

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S

◗ Standard of living. He might control the money and give

her little to live on. He could lose or quit his job. He might

make her lose or quit her job.

◗ Loss of income/job. He could keep her from working or

limit how much she works. He might sabotage her efforts

to find a job or her success in a job or training program.

◗ Loss of housing. She could be evicted because of

property damage he has done.

◗ Loss of or damage to possessions. He might destroy

things of importance or value to her.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S

◗ Standard of living. She might now have to live on less

money, relying solely on her own income. She might have

to move out of her home and community.

◗ Loss of income/job. She might have to quit her job and

raise her children as a single parent. He might sabotage

her efforts to find a job or succeed in a training program.

◗ Loss of housing. She might have to move out, leave town

or go into hiding. She might lose her home in a divorce.

◗ Loss of or damage to possessions. He might destroy

things of importance or value to her. She might have to

leave things behind if she flees.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S

◗ Physical injury. He might threaten or injure family or

friends, particularly if they try to offer assistance.

◗ Loss of support. They might want her to leave and might

stop supporting her if she stays. They might be afraid of

him or not like him. He might keep her isolated from them.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S

◗ Physical injury. He might threaten or injure family or

friends, particularly if they try to offer assistance.

◗ Loss of support. They might not want her to leave and

might stop supporting her.

PSYCHOLOGICAL

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S

◗ Psychological harm. Verbal, emotional and physical

attacks will continue to affect her.

◗ Substance abuse. She might use drugs or alcohol to help

her cope with the emotional and physical pain.

◗ Suicide. He might threaten or commit suicide.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S

◗ Psychological harm. He might have continued access to

her, particularly if they have children in common.

◗ Substance abuse. She might use drugs or alcohol to help

her cope with her new situation and past abuse.

◗ Suicide. He might threaten or commit suicide.

This information was found at this site -

http://www.mocadsv.org/Resources/CMSResources//pdf/dv101.pdf

Todays Note

I found this information on this site. The site has a lot more things to read, if you are interested. It words the information well that I would like you to know. It's longer than usual but very helpful. This site uses the female form of pronouns, since the vast majority of people being abused are women, but it happens to men, too.

http://www.mocadsv.org/Resources/CMSResources//pdf/dv101.pdf

FOUR TYPES OF ABUSE

Abuse can take on many forms. Some types are more subtle

than others and might never be seen or felt by anyone other than

the woman experiencing the abuse. The abuser uses a combination

of tactics that work to control the victim. The abuse also usually

increases in frequency and severity over time.

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Physical abuse is easier to recognize and understand than

other types of abuse.

It can be indicated when the batterer:

◗ Scratches, bites, grabs or spits at a current or former intimate

partner.

◗ Shakes, shoves, pushes, restrains or throws her.

◗ Twists, slaps, punches, strangles or burns the victim.

◗ Throws objects at her.

◗ Subjects her to reckless driving.

◗ Locks her in or out of the house.

◗ Refuses to help when she’s sick, injured or pregnant,

or withholds medication or treatment.

◗ Withholds food as punishment.

◗ Abuses her at mealtime, which disrupts eating patterns

and can result in malnutrition.

◗ Abuses her at night, which disrupts sleeping patterns

and can result in sleep deprivation.

◗ Attacks her with weapons or kills her.

SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Sexual violence and abuse can be extraordinarily difficult for

victims to talk about because of the ways in which this type of

violence often is perpetrated.

Sexual violence or abuse can be indicated when the batterer:

◗ Is jealously angry and assumes she will have sex with anyone.

◗ Withholds sex and affection as punishment.

◗ Calls her sexual names.

◗ Pressures her to have sex when she doesn’t want to.

◗ Insists that his partner dress in a more sexual way than she wants.

◗ Coerces sex by manipulation or threats.

◗ Physically forces sex or is sexually violent.

◗ Coerces her into sexual acts that she is uncomfortable with,

such as sex with a third party, physically painful sex, sexual

activity she finds offensive or verbal degradation during sex.

◗ Inflicts injuries that are sex-specific.

◗ Denies the victim contraception or protection against

sexually transmitted diseases.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE

It is the abuser’s use of physical and sexual force or threats

that gives power to his psychologically abusive acts. Psychological

abuse becomes an effective weapon in controlling a

victim, because she knows through experience that her abuser

will at times back up the threats or taunts with physical assaults.

Psychological abuse can be indicated when the batterer:

◗ Breaks promises, doesn’t follow through on agreements

or doesn’t take a fair share of responsibility.

◗ Verbally attacks and humiliates his partner in private or public.

◗ Attacks her vulnerabilities, such as her language abilities,

educational level, skills as a parent, religious and cultural

beliefs or physical appearance.

◗ Plays mind games, such as when he denies requests he has

made previously or when he undercuts her sense of reality.

◗ Forces her to do degrading things.

◗ Ignores her feelings.

◗ Withholds approval or affection as punishment.

◗ Regularly threatens to leave or tells his partner to leave.

◗ Harasses her about affairs he imagines her to be having.

◗ Stalks her.

◗ Always claims to be right.

◗ Is unfaithful after committing to monogamy.

ECONOMIC ABUSE

Economic abuse can be indicated when the batterer:

◗ Controls all the money.

◗ Doesn’t let her work outside the home or sabotages her

attempts to work or go to school.

◗ Refuses to work and makes her support the family.

◗ Ruins her credit rating.