Sunday, September 19, 2010

Todays Note

Dilemmas In Leaving An Abusive Relationship AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Leaving a violent relationship is not a simple matter. There are many factors that must be weighed carefully, because only the abuser truly can stop the violence,


PHYSICAL

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S
Physical injury. He can continue to hit and injure her.
Death. He might kill her or the children.
STDs/HIV. She might have no choice regarding safe-sex
practices. He might sexually assault her.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S
Physical injury. He might continue to injure her. He also
might be inclined to escalate the violence after she leaves.
Death. Leaving doesn’t ensure that he won’t find her, and it
might increase the chance she or the children will be killed.
STDs/HIV. Unsafe behavior might continue. He might
sexually assault her.

CHILDREN

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S
Physical injury or psychological harm. Children can
witness violence, be targets themselves or be hurt trying
to protect others.
Loss of children. He could make false allegations of
child neglect or abuse about her. Failure-to-protect
arguments could be used to remove children or terminate
parental rights.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S
Physical injury or psychological harm. Children can
witness violence, be targets themselves or be hurt trying
to protect others. They might be at greater risk during
visitation.
Loss of children. He could legally gain custody or just
take the children. He could make false allegations of child
neglect or abuse.

FINANCIAL

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S
Standard of living. He might control the money and give
her little to live on. He could lose or quit his job. He might
make her lose or quit her job.
Loss of income/job. He could keep her from working or
limit how much she works. He might sabotage her efforts
to find a job or her success in a job or training program.
Loss of housing. She could be evicted because of
property damage he has done.
Loss of or damage to possessions. He might destroy
things of importance or value to her.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S
Standard of living. She might now have to live on less
money, relying solely on her own income. She might have
to move out of her home and community.
Loss of income/job. She might have to quit her job and
raise her children as a single parent. He might sabotage
her efforts to find a job or succeed in a training program.
Loss of housing. She might have to move out, leave town
or go into hiding. She might lose her home in a divorce.
Loss of or damage to possessions. He might destroy
things of importance or value to her. She might have to
leave things behind if she flees.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S
Physical injury. He might threaten or injure family or
friends, particularly if they try to offer assistance.
Loss of support. They might want her to leave and might
stop supporting her if she stays. They might be afraid of
him or not like him. He might keep her isolated from them.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S
Physical injury. He might threaten or injure family or
friends, particularly if they try to offer assistance.
Loss of support. They might not want her to leave and
might stop supporting her.

PSYCHOLOGICAL

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  S TAY S
Psychological harm. Verbal, emotional and physical
attacks will continue to affect her.
Substance abuse. She might use drugs or alcohol to help
her cope with the emotional and physical pain.
Suicide. He might threaten or commit suicide.

P O S S I B L E  R I S K S  I F  S H E  L E AV E S
Psychological harm. He might have continued access to
her, particularly if they have children in common.
Substance abuse. She might use drugs or alcohol to help
her cope with her new situation and past abuse.
Suicide. He might threaten or commit suicide.

This information was found at this site -

http://www.mocadsv.org/Resources/CMSResources//pdf/dv101.pdf

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